Fears and Friends

I found this post in drafts – It's bit of a rant but I thought I would post it anyway:) Lot's has changed since this babble. I must say, I accomplished exactly what I wanted. You'll have to read it to then end to learn what:)

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Fear can be so debilitating. Even when we are staring in the eyes of someone we know should hear our truth, we comply with comfort. 'it's not a big deal', 'I don't want to cause drama' and it goes on. Yet, we are willing to step aside and allow things to go on as they do. Feeling unheard, misunderstood, or disrespected.

I heard an incredible theory 'we teach people how to treat us.' I truly believe that. No one can make us feel unloved, disrespected or misunderstood unless we've allowed them too. I guess it's learning how to communicate feelings ina loving way.

I believe that when we love, we help each others see what can't be seen. 

If I have friends that only call me when they need help, and another friend points that out – that's a loving observation. Because reciprocity in a relationship is a loving relationship.

Then what's most exciting is that I have a different choice to teach others how to treat me. Feedback is important with friends, otherwise we never grow.

So, do we go on with 'pleasing' and making sure things are always 'cool'? sure, if you want stay where you are. How many of us are in relationships with people that never grow. It's the same story?

Sometimes, I think the truth isn't told because we are petrified of what the answer will be. We'd rather live in the lie. I've done that before, many times. It's a lonely place, because deep inside we always know the truth. 

I've definitely been called on my 'you can be too blunt', to which I've gotten a bit soft on lately because I want to be sure I learn to be more gracious. My Portuguese passion comes out the wrong way sometimes (blush).

I've had this urge to tell someone I love that I would like for them to show me they care by honoring our time. Yet, I held it back because I didn't want to be a pain or seem selfish.

You can do both things in a loving way without there being drama or pain. That can only be done through vulnerability. I still struggle with that. I know! I just wrote a blog about it.

I still have so much growth to do. I'm cool with that. I know one thing for sure. When I am honest and open with my friends about how I really feel, we love each other more. It becomes a transparent relationship and not one of 'I don't talk to her/him about that stuff.'

I love my friends. They are like family to me. I noticed that most of my closest friends are extremely honest, blunt people… Especially my gals. I really appreciate that.

I want to step more into my honesty and vulnerability with them. 

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