Singing Makes Me Feel Better

When you bunk with your band mates again, after living on your own for so many years and having very adult lives — it’s funny how reflective you become about what you want in your life. We are all in our 30’s and it can be strange to realize we are living in Berlin, making music, and performing as though we are in our 20’s.

Living together, we’ve had time to talk. There was an interesting question — “Do we want to be in our 40’s having to fundraise for our music and barely get by financially for the rest of our lives?” The answer is leading more towards a “No”.

I am a problem solver and I have tried to come up with a million ideas to change our circumstance and help others do the same. But, I am waring thin. We all are.

I hate the phrase “I am a starving artist” ..  we do not understand the word starving. Kids in Africa are starving, not musicians. But, if we start talking about reciprocity than yes, it’s not so even. With so many artists making music and willing to play for free – there’s a notion of being replaceable. I am a hungry artist. Looking for reciprocity that can get us playing more, reviews, sync licensing. Something to tell us we are doing the right thing. Signs from the Universe.

I was watching the Bette Midler video on upworthy that was posted about her speaking with someone who was dying of Cancer. She was so genuine, so loving. And she said something that resonated with me and it was “I used to sing because it made me feel better.” That’s exactly what singing does for me. It’s a love that transcends anything I have ever felt. That love I have happens even more when I am sharing it with you. The idea that it brightens someones day or makes them feel better is ineffable to describe the impact.

I have been blessed to have been making music with Mike for 13 years and Randall for 7. It’s uncanny to realize how fast time flys. My mom always warned me of that. The idea that it may end soon breaks my heart, but I know that it will happen as it’s supposed too.

It’s the signs that make a difference. Every time we get rejected for a festival, gig, review or anything else it seems we are carrying that weight. It gets harder to look at the positive aspects. The one sign that has kept us going is the support from our fans. Whom I love very much. I am so grateful for you all.

Tomorrow is a new day..

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